insomnia

many nights I have not slept
in my journey on this earth
wondering about the quality and depth
of what my love is worth



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My 13 Year Old Said Before I Died

Witnessing how loving kindness revives,
powerfully transforms and renews,
he said, "mom,I've noticed how peoples lives
are better after knowing you."
and his face lit up with a sarcastic smile
as he steered our cart down the ice cream isle


,

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RE: before I die

Low deeds I dread, from way back when,
I should've done differently.
Although some say I must come back again,
instead I just forgive me

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RE: RE: perfection, completion

My father died with no regrets,
now that's my lofty goal.
To love as well as e'er I can,
to leave beloveds hale and whole.

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before I die

I'd like to be in love again.
I'd like to walk tall and strong.
and swim, and write a book,
and right each thing that I've done wrong.

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RE: RE: before I die

Alas, the "shoulda woulda coulda" s
are on my mind of late.
My list of things left undone
is too long to contemplate.

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Final Decisions

I wonder if I have been good.
Or have chosen rightly?
Did I help instead of harm?
I ponder these things nightly.

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RE: perfection, completion

Finally, no quips are heard,
No jokes about the end.
Just sorrow for the things undone,
And one last tear, my friend.

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RE: before I die

skinny dip, fly through clouds,
play "Streetcar"'s Blanche,
say yes to nearly everything
and never miss a chance.

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RE: Final Decisions

Decisions made throughout my life
have brought me to this moment,
where I can value all I've done...
still, flaws foment a discontent.

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choice

to be adored and go
to be adored and stay
the choice is an easy one
when looked at either way

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RE: RE: before I die

Before I die
I'll continue to try
and maybe - be less shy
and some days I'll cry
while others I'll fly

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RE: RE: Final Decisions (Part )

I would consume your discontent
as fire to what once lived
and leave only value and merriment,
done as a gift to give.
But your focus, to create art -
to make something meaningful for sale
drains me and tears me apart -
my gift rendered the wind in another's sail.


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RE: RE: RE: Final Decisions (Part 2)

And as a man, I must not care.
I must let it be as I chose to give.
All in love must appear fair
and nothing good for who loves to live.
You were beautiful, and are.
Eyes and senses deceive no honest emotion.
I've no sense of you anymore:
we are two, one sea and one ocean.

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RE: choice

Adoration's not so good
on the giving end.
Take it when it's offered
and swim against the trend.

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